In Love with Life…

      Here is my firts blog, finally. After months of waiting for the ‘right time’ to write — which never come, of course — i take this quiet moment trying to write something, anything. OK, now where should I start?

      Hmmm… I think I will restate the phrase I’ve said for thousands times since I arrived in Japan: I like it here. I love Tokyo. I enjoy the feeling of safety, even when I am still out in the middle of the night. I cherish the assurance that the next train will arrive in 3 minutes, without any possibility of delay. I thank God for the single seats in coffe shops and restaurants, realizing how natural it is to be alone in this crowded city. I do like it here, and this shower of blessings once made me to stop and think: am I here because I am smart, of because I am simply lucky?

      A friend of mine once challenged me to answer this dillematic question. Trivial it might seem, but what a thoughtful answers I must sought to leave me at peace after letting the words out of my mouth! I couldn’t proclaim that I am smart, because good girls are not arrogant (according to my mom), and telling someone outloud that you are smart is not acceptable in the place where I come from. At least, if there should be an open statement that you are smart, let it not come from you. So, it left me with one answer: I was lucky. Oh, how I hated that word! Cinderella was lucky,  she had a fairy godmother helping her out when she was crying in a kitchen (in my case, crying would give me nothing but swollen eyes). Snow White was lucky too, because it was a prince charming, instead of a half-dead zombie, who came for her rescue (by the way, I think all little girls should not be told about this kind of fairy tales. Let them learn from strong women. Victoria. Marie Curie. Joan D’Arc. Any woman but a princess who just sit and waited to be rescued! Oh, by the way, i gotta go back to the topics, right…. :-P) Well, definitely, I didn’t want to admit that I got this chance because of luck. Hey, there’s nothing to be proud of when you are only ‘lucky’, isn’t it?

      So i stopped for a few seconds to think. I mean, to really think. Then, a flashback came to me like an enlightment.  I remembered the the years I spent to master my second language. I counted the numbers of ups and downs during my search for this chance. I recalled all prayers I said, humbly asked Him for His mercy to let me find what I was seeking.  I remembered all the nights when I was still up, even though it was late, trying to figure out the answers for homeworks problems. I knew that, when I was in my search, I was fully devoted. And God knew it too.

      I told my friend my final answer. I worked hard, so He gave this chance to me, I said. There was a complete silence between us for a few seconds.  We both knew that a chance like this is not without a cost. All the efforts and the broken dreams, and then all the efforts and the broken dreams again… until you finally got it. And after all you’ve been through, you know with all your heart that it was worth doing.

      I am happy to be here. I am grateful for this chance. I love my life here as much as I love mine back home. I love being who I am, and what I am, with all experiences I cherish. I want nothing else but this life of mine: the life I love to live.

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